I have never been great at things that I thought a good house wife should be good at. House work has never been my forte. Ever since I've been married I have tried to make my home look like something out of a magazine, but the truth of it is that it never will. Part of that is my fault, see you kinda have to have an immaculate house for starters. I count it good enough if the all the toys get put into some sort of organization. I struggle against what society and everyone else says you should be or what you should be able to do. I want very badly to be able to have a beautiful home, perfect children, and make a wreath out of something in my pantry in my spare time. The truth is I don't, they're not and I can't. Yesterday as I worked on something in the kitchen my daughter took the cute little stickers that came with the Christmas cards I bought and stuck them all on my wood chairs. My son has tried to pull the Christmas tree that I took a whole evening to decorate on top of his head a million times. And right now as I write this, my daughter has stolen the crackers I was eating, and is stuffing them in her mouth as fast as she can so I won't notice it was her. No, life is not perfect and in the last few months I feel as if God is asking me to see that.
Five years ago I did not see myself as a house mom. I was seriously thinking about going into ministry. I have never been very crafty or even really enjoyed cleaning house, but I do love being with people and I love to study and learn. Then I met my husband and we knew very early in our relationship that we had both found the one we would spend the rest of our lives with. We got married in August and in November I found out that I was four weeks pregnant. I had always known that I would be a mother and that someday I would stay at home. I just thought that maybe by the time I did that I would be a little more like Martha Stewart. My daughter came that next summer and my life changed forever. I love being a mom, even though I have my bouts of insanity. It was really hard to adjust being at home all the time, but I loved my little princess so much that I realized I didn't mind all that much. Then right after she turned one, I found out I was pregnant again with my son. I had him this last spring, and though it is a challenge having two under the age of two I wouldn't miss this for the world. They don't care that mommy tried to paint a Thanksgiving turkey wall hanging and it looked like the turkey was a mutant. They don't care that I tried to make my own Christmas cards last year and well some of you received those and need I say more? No, they just need their mama to be there, to play with them, to share Jesus stories, and once in a while dance to a crazy song. This time at home has given me time to grow, though maybe as of yet people haven't noticed. This time is my time to know God better and see all my imperfection come out. That's exactly where He would have me be anyway, humble and seeking Him to help me through things that I can't do without Him.
I Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness," Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
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