Priorities

     Today I read a chapter in a book I've been reading about marriage that really captured my attention.  The author was talking about how women can get so caught up in their marriage and children that they lose sight of who is Lord of their life.  She said there have been times that she was so concerned about the health of her marriage that her moods and emotions are dictated by it.  If things are good between her and her husband then she is good, but they are strained or not as good then she isn't.  I think that I tend to be this way too.  Being a stay at home mom is tough sometimes, and it can be lonely or challenging in ways that I never thought before.  My job is to take care of my family and make sure that my husband and kids are ok.  So it's really easy to find my identity and importance in that.
     Today at my women's study my kids were not happy and both were not acting the way I felt they should.  I had a hard time listening and being part of the group.  I left there feeling very low and emotional.  But as I have thought about it since, I realize that just because my kids had an off day does not necessarily reflect that I am a failure.  I realized that I had put my kids and my role as a mother ahead of being a child of God.  My kids are human therefore they sin, no matter how many things I do right or wrong.  At first I felt sad that I had let God down, that I had been a failure as a believer in Christ.  Now I see that this is really just a weight that I don't have to bear.  I still have to be a parent, and raise my kids to the best of my ability.  But ultimately, it won't be perfect and God is always in control of their lives.  He loves them more than I ever could and He will mold their lives for His purposes whether or not I'm a perfect mother.